Rachel's Dream by Lisa Jones Baker

Author:Lisa Jones Baker [Baker, Lisa Jones]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kensington
Published: 2017-03-01T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

It was hard to believe it was already the first of August when Jarred stared at the blank sheet in front of him. He was checking out buggies since he was expected to be driving one before beginning classes to join the church. And Rachel loved him.

A warm sensation filled him until a wide smile pulled the corners of his lips up. He planned to marry her—after he joined the church, of course.

Paperwork cluttered his kitchen table except for the area he’d cleared to write his folks. With a slow, undecided movement, he reached for his black pen. Before ink touched paper, he thought of Matt. Of Jarred’s shock when the car had hit his brother. He tapped the tip of his pen against the glass top for a few seconds, then laid it down again.

Rachel would write a heartfelt letter. But I’m not Rachel. Maybe I’m not as strong as her. If my folks don’t reply, I’ll feel worse than I do now.

His fingers shook. They’ll never forgive me. He closed his eyes and sighed in frustration while contemplating whether or not to contact them. Rachel’s kind, concerned face popped into his thoughts. The tighter he closed his eyes, the more he could hear the convincing timbre of her soft, urgent voice: “Write a letter, Jarred. To your parents.”

When he opened his eyes, the sun’s rays shone through the open window and onto his face. He blinked and turned to avoid the brightness. But his mind lingered on Rachel’s advice. Should he take it?

Decide this like you determine everything else, based on pros and cons. He leaned forward to prop his right cheek on his hand and stared straight ahead at the off-white wall.

I could finally apologize for what’s been a heavy burden on my shoulders for most of my life. At the same time, it would be an opportunity for me to tell my parents how much I love and miss them. Cons?

Resting a firm hand on his hip, he stood, shoved back his chair, and hooked his thumbs over the tops of the pockets of his blue jeans. With great focus, he contemplated the blank page and what to do about it.

What’s the worst that can happen? Pondering the loaded question, he tapped his socked toe against the tile. They might tell me they never want to hear from me again. Or maybe they won’t even respond. Are these two scenarios worse than my current situation?

He shrugged and watched as the rays dimmed to a softer shade. Write a letter, Jarred. Rachel’s soft, but convincing voice haunted him. He remained standing, silently ordering the beat of his heart to slow. At that moment, reality hit him; he squared his shoulders and crossed his arms over his chest.

A combination of shame and embarrassment fought inside him until he bowed his head and prayed.

“Dear Lord and Savior, please give me faith to cope with what happened. Help me not to fear because You are by my side. And please forgive me for not having the strength You expect from me.

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